Aftermath
On this page you will read about some of
the aftermath that follows these types of accusations. These are based
on my own personal experience, and the experiences of others in this
position, but they should not be taken as being
typical. It could be that you may have none of these, or worse than
these. Each individuals experience will be just that, individual. I
make no apologies for the fact that they may be upsetting to some
people, or for the fact that while writing them, the tears are
streaming down my face. Complete and irrevocable breakdown of the
family unit. In my case, my daughter taken into the care? of Social
Services, and placed at the other end of the country. My son treated
like a social outcast by what were his closest friends. My ex wife
sacked from her job as classroom assistant at the local J+I school. Loss of my business due to being unable to
function on anything but the most basic level. Over 18 months spent on
the benefits system due to ill health following a breakdown. Relying on
'happy' pills just to be able to survive on a day to day basis. Loss of family home, divorce, financial
ruin. I estimate the financial cost to me to be at least
£100,000. I did not take anything from the divorce, instead,
making sure that my ex had a house, bought and paid for in which to
raise the children. Loss of friends and associates you may have
known for years, rejected by your own bloodline family, suspension or
dismissal from your place of work. Thoughts and possible attempts at taking
your own life, lack of help or support from any direction, the feelings
of utter contempt with yourself, even though you know in your heart
that you have done nothing wrong. If unfortunate enough to be found guilty,
being forced to attend the SOTP for fear of being sent to prison, or
indeed, recieving a custodial sentence.
Possibly having to live in a bail hostel with real abusers. Living alone, having no one to talk to at
night, or to share a bed with. Waking alone in the mornings, the
realization that you are an absolute emotional wreck, and will cry at
the silliest things that trigger any memory of happier times, and which
remind you of things you have lost. Living with the feelings of absolute loss
and what might have been. Being alone is one thing, being lonely, on
the other hand, is entirely different. On a more positive note, my ex and I are
still good friends. My son and I are as close as any father and son can
be, given the circumstances. I am still close to my ex's family, and
therefore to what were my nieces and nephews. I now have a new circle of friends, who
know me and what I have been through, some of them from prior to the
accusations, some new since. I now also have new interests, this cause
being one of them. I am happy to 'stand up and be counted' within
reason. So there is light at the end of the tunnel after all.