My story.

As the author of this site I have been falsely accused and convicted of sexual abuse against my own teenage daughter in 2000. This is the rather abridged story of my life leading up to these falsities. The accusation came from my daughter after eighteen months of intervention into my family life by social services. The reason for this intervention was because of allegations made against my ex wife by my daughter, that my ex wife was hitting her.

These allegations, both of physical and sexual abuse are without any foundation in truth or fact, but that did not stop the authorities from believing her, especially about the sexual abuse. After all, teenagers never lie, do they?, and I am a man, ergo a child sex offender. Except, they do, especially when convinced by "experts" that she must have been abused to be behaving in the way she was. After all, there is NO other explanation, is there?

The fact that my daughter had been stealing from her mother, (but strangely enough. not from me), and I took her to the local Police Station twice for this reason. Was, and probably still is racist, even though she had been bought up not to be, was violent to her younger brother and her mother, but not to me, abusive to teachers and her peers, but not to me, openly admitted to hating her mother, but not me, and was in all probability very unhappy for reasons never fathomed by either her mom or I, or social services, but could be really nice and well behaved when it was to her own advantage, makes the probability of abuse even more unlikely. Now I don't claim to have been the perfect parent, but show me someone who does, and I could probably show you a liar. But I do know that I did the best I could for both of my children, one of whom repays me like this, the other who is a well rounded, polite and charming, child that I am proud to call my own. (Oops, not mine as not allowed to own a child, might be considered an abuser of children). Correction, Proud to be the Father of.

Just to clarify a point, as far as punishing my children was concerned, I am very much in the mould of no physical chastisement except as an absolute last resort. Preferring to find other alternative methods where possible. And then, if physical punishment was required, it would only ever be a single, sharp smack to back of the legs. If this makes me an abuser, then I really hold out no hope for society, or what I see of it, in general. I do, however, believe in praise and reward where applicable, and constantly used that method with my children, and still do so with my son.

Back to my story. The accusation finally came following my daughter being suspended from school for racist abuse and fighting. I told her that I would no longer protect her from her own actions, and in particular, whatever punishment her mom gave her and that she had to take responsibility for what she had done. Within a few days, she accused me of sexual abuse.

I was suffering, previously to this, from severe bi-polar disorder, and I still do. A mental illness which causes all sorts of weird symptoms. My father had recently suffered yet another in a long line of strokes, my business was suffering badly, and had just been burgled. And I was at the lowest I had been for a long time. No money, bills and mortgage to pay, and this on top of everything else. I had a breakdown and really believed that I must have done what she said. After all, why would my own daughter make up something so horrible about me? And because of my illness, I found it impossible to remember or concentrate on what I was doing on a day to day basis . I guess I just gave up on life at that point. Nothing seemed to matter any more. I felt a complete and utter failure, and never have I known such a blackness and sense of loneliness and isolation. I convinced myself that what had been said about me was true, and that I was just not allowing myself to remember because of the shame I felt. I actually got to the point in where I had written my good-bye notes, and said my good-byes to my loved ones, with the full intention of ending my life. I truly believe that only the absolute knowledge I had that the accusations weren't true prevented me from doing so.

Once in police custody, I was kept in a cell with just the clothes on my back, and a watch. Eventually the Police surgeon arrived, asked me my name, the time and date, and pronounced me fit to be interviewed. I was asked if I wanted a solicitor present, but never believed for one minute that I would be allowed to have one, even if I had asked for one, or that it would make a difference. I was told that I could go home afterwards, to the best of my recollection, so I told them what they wanted to hear. I pleaded guilty as I really believed at the time that I must have done what she said.

At crown court, after 6 months of investigation and magistrate court appearances, my brief sat with my wife (who was to have been called as a prosecution witness), and I, and said that if I pleaded guilty, that neither she nor my daughter would  be put on the stand, and did I want to put them through that experience, or spare them. My wife was very supportive and said I must do what I think is right and that she would support me whatever I decided. I just couldn't bring myself to put them through that, after all, a husband and father is meant to protect his family, and I had a promise to keep. So after what seemed like hours of heart searching, I decided to plead guilty to protect them both. At the day of sentencing, I asked my brief to change my plea as I didn't feel that I could go through with the most stupid mistake of my life just to protect my  wife and  daughter. He just wasn't interested at that point and I still believed, even then that the truth would come out. I was subsequently placed on probation for three years, forced to attend the SOTP, and labeled a schedule one offender for life.

I have had to start my life again. I suppose the only saving grace is that by being forced onto the SOTP, they have helped me understand that I have not sexually abused my daughter and indeed, that I am not and never have been capable of such thoughts or deeds, and even though I am having to sit with the type of people who carry out such awful things, I know that eventually it will come to an end. You can read some of my thoughts on the SOTP at the SOFAP site. I have also undergone a social services appraisal, the outcome of which is that I am not considered a threat to children, nor is it likely that I ever was or ever will be, so for that at least, I owe them my one and only thanks. I remain to this day, absolutely convinced that it is as a direct result of their interference that my daughter got the idea of accusing me in the first place. I still don't know the reason why she did, but then again, neither does anyone else, except her and probably the person who I suspect put the idea in her head in the first place, a social worker from Wolverhampton Social Services, and neither of them is talking.

Since then, my daughter has been taken into care for the protection of my son and my ex wife, she continues, so I am led to believe, to accuse anyone who upsets her or disagrees with her, or tries to correct her errant behaviour, of sexual abuse. So far the accused number amongst others:- teachers, care workers and a prison officer. Still the "experts" are unable to find out why she does this.  And even as I write this, on the 11th March 2003, my daughter has punched her current Foster mother for no other reason then being told to "toe the line".

Just to be clear, I suppose I still love my daughter. Up to the intervention by Social Services, I always thought that we had a special bond, probably because my wife died in childbirth (she was subsequently revived), and I promised her then, on the day of her birth, that I would never allow anything or anyone to hurt her in any way. I just don't like her as a person, or what she has become, or indeed, what her false accusations have done to me, my family and herself. While I am still good friends with my ex wife and her family, and she with mine. My daughter has been almost cut off by both. My family have nothing at all to do with her, and the family of my ex-wife are extremely wary about letting her have contact with them. Especially any of the single male members. Indeed, they will not allow her to be alone with any of them. This ultimately means that she is probably destined to lead a lonely life for which my heart goes out to her, but I cannot, and I suspect I never will, forgive her for what she has done.

As for me, well I now get on with my life. Writing this story reduces me to tears, but I have to do it to let anyone who is interested know just how difficult the last few years have been for me, and for anyone going through the same experience that they are not alone. I have little to do with children anymore, with the exception of my son, who has come through this much better than I have, and who is the absolute reason that I think I survive. I no longer trust children at all, especially teenagers, and though this may sound callous and a contradiction in terms, and although I miss her desperately, I have no desire to ever meet my daughter again.

To read about my family life prior to these lies, click HERE<------