What is, or is not abuse?

What is abuse? How is it determined by the normal rules of common sense? and how is it determined by "experts?"

Lets say a child is playing happily with one or both of their parents, and happens to sustain a bruise in the course of that playing. If the child carries on playing, has that child suffered abuse at the hands of the parents? Probably not, if you apply the rules of common sense. If that same child shows signs of distress at getting the bruise, and refuses to carry on playing, but instead chides the parents in the way that children do, has that child now suffered abuse? Again, you might expect the answer to be NO, and the child just does not wish to carry on with that particular game.  However, now we have to apply the rules of the "experts" who see abuse and abusers everywhere, and would, given half a chance, convince the child that something terrible had been done to them by the parents. This sort of attitude leads to false accusations on a worryingly large scale.

Imagine a young family, where the parents have no hang-ups in their attitude towards walking around their own home undressed, particularly when going from the bathroom to the bedroom to get dressed.  their young child has been used to this from birth, and sees nothing wrong in it. At the age of about seven, the child starts to giggle when seeing the parents naked, so the parents then decide that it is time to no longer carry on walking around naked, but  to cover up instead. So has this child been subjected to abuse? Applying the rules of common sense, they probably have not. Just try to convince the "experts" of that and see their reaction. They would say the parents had covered up because they (the parents) feel that they might abuse the child. The parents would probably say it was to spare the child's blushes, as you would expect. However, had the parents not covered up, the "experts" would then say that abuse had taken place in the manner of indecency. A no win situation for the parents.

Take a teenager who decides that they no longer want to wash/do chores/go to school, or worse, starts to steal from the local shop, friends, family members. If the parents tell the teenager off for bad behaviour, has that teenager been subjected to abuse. Apply the rules of common sense and decide for yourself. Now apply the rules of the "experts" and see what you come up with. If the "expert" answer is:- Well the teen is stealing/skipping school/ being verbally and physically threatening because he/she has been abused by his/her parents, then you are starting to get the idea.

How many of us, have seen an unhappy child being dragged around the supermarket by their parents, only to be smacked, in full view of other shoppers, for demanding sweets, biscuits, cakes etc, or simply out of sheer frustration at the boredom of this activity from their point of view. Could this be considered abuse? Applying the rules of common sense, it probably is, and personally that is the stand I take. I'd like to take those parents by the scruff of the neck and have a real go at them. I daren't even contemplate what an "expert" might make of that!

What of a child in care? How much abuse do Social workers carry out on children under their care? For example, would depriving a child of water count as abuse? I think it would, allowing for common sense to prevail. But for the "experts", who knows. Does teaching a child to steal, do drugs, shoplift etc count as abuse? Now I believe that it is, and, I hear you say, no-one would do that anyway, and I hope you are right. However, whilst I believe that every loving parent would teach their children NOT to do these things, I do not believe that SS has the same interests at heart. After all, these are not their children are they? they are just an inconvenience dropped on them by society, just another number! It follows then, that if the SS do not teach the children in their care the difference between right and wrong, then these same children are probably victims of state condoned abuse on the largest scale ever seen in the civilized world. How else could you describe the training of young thugs, tearaways etc. Worse still, the inherent dangers in training a child to become a false accuser is a real risk that the SS seem only to willing to ignore.

Now don't get me wrong, I am of the opinion that out there somewhere is a social worker who really can make a difference, and does in fact have the interests of the children he/she helps at the very core of their being. Unfortunately, I have been bitten by one of the thousands of bad ones. I hope for the sake of the children that I am wrong, but I fear that I am not.

Perhaps the most worrying thing of all though, is the imminent introduction into British law of the new sexual offences act. This will do nothing but make thousands more innocent people into child sex offenders. Buying sweets or gifts for a child will be seen as a sign of 'grooming' (whatever that is?) Playing with your children in perfectly innocent pastimes, e.g. tag, pass the parcel, monopoly etc will be seen as a precursor to sexual abuse. What are we to do? If a new mother changes her child's nappy, is she going to be guilty of sexual abuse?  What about the grandparent who bounces a child on their knee, a pastime with aeons of history. Does that make them a sex offender? What of the child in school that falls and hurts themselves? if the teachers stand back and do nothing, is this in itself a form of child abuse? or do they help a child is in distress and risk being classified as an offender that way?

So, what is abuse? Pass, no idea, because even the "experts" have no idea, they just think they do! And worryingly, young children seem to be being taught to think like "experts" in all that they do, and also see abuse everywhere. In school, from magazines and T.V. programs our young are being told not to trust adults, because adults do terrible things to children, except, of course, these so called and self proclaimed "experts" who are doing the teaching. The result? More falsely accused and convicted innocent parents and more "experts", the real child abusers, getting away with it!