By Vic:

On this page you will read about some of the aftermath that follows these types of accusations. These are based on my own personal experience, and the experiences of others in this position, but they should not be taken as being typical. It could be that you may have none of these, or worse than these. Each individuals experience will be just that, individual. I make no apologies for the fact that they may be upsetting to some people, or for the fact that while writing them, the tears are streaming down my face



Complete and irrevocable breakdown of the family unit.

In my case, my daughter taken into the “care” of Social Services, and placed at the other end of the country. My son was treated like a social outcast by what were his closest friends. My ex wife was sacked from her job as classroom assistant at the local J+I school.

Loss of my business due to being unable to function on anything but the most basic level. Over 18 months spent on the benefits system due to ill health following a breakdown. Relying on ‘happy’ pills just to be able to survive on a day to day basis.

Loss of family home, divorce, financial ruin. I estimate the financial cost to me to be at least £100,000. I did not take anything from the divorce, instead, making sure that my ex had a house, bought and paid for in which to raise the children.

Loss of friends and associates you may have known for years, rejected by your own bloodline family, suspension or dismissal from your place of work.

Thoughts and possible attempts at taking your own life, lack of help or support from any direction, the feelings of utter contempt with yourself, even though you know in your heart that you have done nothing wrong.

If unfortunate enough to be found guilty, being forced to attend the SOTP for fear of being sent to prison, or indeed, receiving a custodial sentence. Possibly having to live in a bail hostel with real abusers.

Living alone, having no one to talk to at night, or to share a bed with. Waking alone in the mornings, the realization that you are an absolute emotional wreck, and will cry at the silliest things that trigger any memory of happier times, and which remind you of things you have lost.

Living with the feelings of absolute loss and what might have been. Being alone is one thing, being lonely, on the other hand, is entirely different.

On a more positive note, my ex and I are now back together, including my son, which is a bonus. He and I are as close as any father and son can be, given the circumstances. And also, I am still close to my ex’s family, and therefore to what were my nieces and nephews.

I now have a new circle of friends, who know me and what I have been through, some of them from prior to the accusations, some new since. I now also have new interests, this cause being one of them. I am happy to ‘stand up and be counted’ within reason. So there is light at the end of the tunnel after all.


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